Saturday, 30 April 2016

My Crazy Zebra Crossing Love #atozchallenge

It sucks when despite speeding up one need to halt at zebra crossing as the traffic signal turns red. Now add another 100 seconds being late to work. Looking at people crossing the zebra crossing did calm me down as they reminded me of him <3

Those were my initial college days when I started driving. At 17 there are so many new things happening and one wants many MANY more new things.

A new driver and a scary driver I used to drive very slowly and used to stop on yellow lights too J It was that day when I first saw him on zebra crossing. Since I was the only one who stopped at the signal with yellow-light while rest of the vehicles sped past me, he looked at me while passing by and gave a thumbs-up.

That one thumbs up made me smile wide and deliberately wait on traffic signal J J even more. He used to park his car in the opposite building of the same office and use the zebra crossing only to cross over. He was so simple and ordinary with nothing striking yet I loved to watch him. It was now my daily routine to set the watch according to him. At times was lucky enough to stand right ahead and he would smile on as he passed by...HAYE!!

Friday, 29 April 2016

Yen for life #atozchallenge

"You are so positive and your yen for life is remarkable." -said he, and I thought you don't exactly know the meaning of yen for life dude.

I am a positive person and I love life but it was not how I have been always, it it all because of her. She is one of my cousin's cousin, married young and hence a young mother. As any educated woman she was working as well as taking care of household. Not at all juggling with work-life balance though, she was perfect to balance both with her ever smiling face. She loved to cook and going to her place meant you are going to have a gala time. There would be more food than anyone can eat and there won't be much talks but laughs and laughter all around.

Once she and her husband were returning from a wedding on the outskirts of the city, while she was driving herself, they met with an accident. A collision with a truck coming from the other side banging the entire car from front and dragging it along off the road.
As she was on driver's seat her chest was crushed by the steering wheel. As God watches over his good people, they were able to save her life. Her chest was totally crushed, left leg had 17 fractures and some injuries on face and head. The doctors said she will be able to stand up MAYBE after 6 months.

Whenever I met her in hospital, in the initial days she used to be in utter pain. At times feeling too hot as if her body was burning at times it was freezing cold and why not she underwent 3 major surgeries in a span of 15 days.

She was in the hospital for around 2 months and now sent home when I saw her again and this was so different from my previous visits. Yes she was still on bed, but there were her friends and relatives around her and all chattering normally. There were drinks and pizza doing the rounds as if I entered a party.

As I waved at her and moved to where she was lying I asked her what's the occasion? And she said - "LIFE" and laughed aloud.

It was no occasion but everyone was just merry and so was she. She just said - "What was to happen, happened.  That was hospital and this is my home and nobody stays without a smile here.I am getting better though won't be able to get up fast but I never liked forlorn faces around so why now. I can't cook but I can still order home delivery"

Thursday, 28 April 2016

My first X-Mas Tree #atozchallenge

It was 23rd December and all over Facebook there were pictures of people with their X-Mas tree, posing, decorating, laughing. Earlier when we were kids my brother and I used to decorate the tree like we liked not how it should be. It was great fun.

I still remember my first encounter with the X-Mas tree at the Christmas party. It was the first time that I got to know what it is and why people like it because it is a tree bearing gifts.

As for a first timer I didn't know why kids went crazy when someone asked to come to the tree and since I was last I got the used crackers and the not so appreciated small gift cars :( :( My mom and grandfather tried to console me saying it's ok and we will buy what you want on our way back I was sulking. So I had a cold war with the tree.

Today I don't remember anyone who was there besides my immediate family but I do remember my first X-mas tree well. It wad way too huge maybe 7 feet, installed in the hallway just as one moves past the winding burgundy staircase. Draped in decorative balls, stars and crackers with gift boxes set at the bottom. Why I remember this is because during my cold war with the tree I made a pact with myself to remember what is kept where to be better prepared next time.

Wednesday, 27 April 2016

The wanderer #atozchallenge

Gypsies,hippies, nomads I thought they only existed in movies and books. How can someone keep on move all the time. Then I met Avi.

At first he appeared too seedha to me...bang on someone who can be easily played on by this crooked –wicked world. But crazy he was, crazy to travel, to meet new people, to explore new places, to learn. He was not born rich or was earning well infact at times he was jobless yet the travel always had its place.

 Often people say they love to travel and explore but I have never seen anyone do so when they are short on funds. But this wanderer loves it to the core and would travel in every way possible. And it is his this zeal towards it that gives him all the opportunities (...leaves from work....) to go after his calling. It is a blessing to get off duty and wander for 20 days of a month and he is happy be it with a job or without the same and travel is his true companion.

Tuesday, 26 April 2016

Vintage Love #atozchallenge

"Love marriage or arranged it is the same thing in a few years, you'll know when you will be married. You can see Vinita and Me. Her's is arranged and mine love but there's no difference anymore. We both have the same daily life and chores and about love, it only stays forever in movies in reality maybe you get used to it." - said Prachi as we sipped tea sitting on stairs of her balcony looking at the park.

What started this discussion was Prachi's ever growing concern on when I will get married. As always I told her I want to fall in love first. And as always she said it hardly matters eventually its all the same.

I don't know my heart doesn't wants to accept that. Maybe as am a complete romantic movie buff and they have totally ruined my logical thought process. Or maybe because I still remember that elderly couple I had once seen.

They must be well into their 80s but even then he intently listened to her chatter nonsensically.
He still walked behind her with his head not high but low trying to be on the same level as she. Walking slowly not hand in hand but holding each other's gaze, giving her plate by his own hands.....HAYE! <3

Monday, 25 April 2016

Uncertainity #atozchallenge

The peak season at work are always the most demanding, One thinks planning can lessen the burden a bit but it is never true. No matter how much you plan, the uncertainty strikes and strikes you hard.

It was the same season of my business and we had planned everything long ahead bang on. Our team of correspondence had only two people Pooja and Reena and they were scheduled to work round the clock but on alternate days so that there is no fatigue. Putting into practice the same they decided that instead of alternate days they’ll do 2 days. The first day that they had decided, Pooja met with an accident on way to office and had to take an entire week off.

Life is so full of uncertainties which one can never comprehend. You can think good, feel good but can you expect good?

Saturday, 23 April 2016

Tolerance #atozchallenge

India is tolerant.
India is not tolerant.
Indians are tolerant.
Indians are not tolerant.
So much debate in the newspaper I can’t tolerate reading the paper with my morning tea now.
It looks like a nice break to my monotonous, too scheduled with TO-DO lists, time-tabled life. I had practically abandoned standing on the balcony. In winters it was the cold breeze, in summers the heat and I got too lazy to stand on the balcony. Today while I enjoy my tea I can peep-out and see what’s happening around in the colony.

What a sight!! Quite a many people out there, coming from morning walks, going for late morning walk, kids waiting for their school buses, some people running to catch their metro/buses and I get a few waves too. Oh how lovely! Why did I skipped it at the first place.
                     And then there was Sakshi and her husband coming back after seeing off their daughter to school. She excitedly waved to me and so did her husband. They were such a cheerful couple, always with each other and helping everyone around. Nobody could ever guess what their life had been through.
                   Sakshi’s husband though loving and caring towards his family had betrayed her not once twice. Both the times with girls from his office. Sakshi is a modern day women but in both cases was clueless for long. And was devastated when she came to know about it. The ever smiling Sakshi had lost her smile but she never left him, just forgive him. Why she forgive him, maybe because of their daughter or maybe because of something else. Nobody could ever ask . The jovial Sakshi was actually the epitome of tolerance and just knew she could take it on.

Friday, 22 April 2016

One tight SLAP #atozchallenge

Feel the rush....and I am always on a run be it a weekend. I am just rushing towards my car to put in my groceries when I bumped into this lady. Both of us were in hurry but when we saw each other – we knew each other, she was my school teacher. And then time took a reverse gear and we talked about school, the old days, the teachers and my classmates, my seniors and juniors and parted on. She reminded me of that one incident and of Mrs. Dass.

We had some function at our school and 6th,7th and 8th class students had to sit in the balcony on 1st floor. After the program we queued up to go downstairs. While passing through the balcony railing one of my friend and I were yelling and chatting with some of our seniors downstairs.

It was quite a ruckus and I stood over the railing, shouting on top of my lungs and it was so much fun and frolic. Someone tapped on my shoulder and ONE TIGHT SLAP! Mrs Dass slapped me in front of almost the entire school. She never taught me but she slapped me. It shocked me, silenced the entire crowd.

That slap is still in my memories, maybe I was embarrassed about it too. Remembering it today just made me realize though I know myself to be a sincere person but actually I was a pain in ass for few ;) Aur meri life me bhi kuch Hindi TV soaps ki tarah drama tha...

Thursday, 21 April 2016

Regret #atozchallenge

Rummaging through the pages of newspaper suddenly my eyes caught an ad. It mentioned REGRET in bold and caps. The ad was asking to look at the sale of your life or you'll regret it later. It made me think is regret a word for these feelings just like we use wow! to express astonishment, yay! For happy and so on...the emoticon world. What do I regret?? On a self help angle I don't regret a thing I did because those very things make me what I am today. But yes there are so many small little things that I do unintentionally that I regret them happening even today.

One such regret I still hold for that day. We were running few courses for school kids, few classes in summers. Due to more than our expectation admissions we got a bit lost in keeping track record of class wise students. Some names were missing altogether,  there were multiple entries at places at places, so clear the confusion I assigned one of the interns to call and ask every student whether they are coming or not and take a general feedback.

She called everyone and then Harshali too. The moment Harshali's mom heard -"class se bol rahi hun ma'am Harshali class aa rahi hai??" that's it she started questioning - "why she is not coming??" and without hearing any further called her father. Since the parents got hyper whether Harshali was coming to class or not as she as per them was a regular student from 5 days and this intern was asking them why she didn't attended the class today.

Harshali's father called 2-3 times to check on data and the inter forwarded all the details of her classes and apologized as Harshali's name was mentioned in one class but was attending another class which started 4 days before.

At the end of the day Harshali's father came along Harshali to check everything and they met me. I told them that it was our mistake and her name was in one class and she was attending another, showed them her attendance and other files why we got confused. He didn't say anything just listened to me with a sheepish smile. But I couldn't see Harshali eye to eye because she had red eyes. She still had tears welled up under and I knew just one glance at her and she'll let go of her barriers and cry wild. No amount of my sorry or my guilt can soothe her.

I know it was our mistake in framing those words which led that child go through God knows what not for those few hours between that call and her father meeting me. It is one regret I cannot overcome. But at the same time it saddens me why parents trust others over their own kids. Or why parents doubt their child so much??  Why parents think their child would hide things from them or go the wrong way if they are not strict with them?

Wednesday, 20 April 2016

Queen #atozchallenge

"He should treat me like a Queen. You know he should be ready to take me for drives, movies, ask me for shopping even when I don't need too. I want to marry a guy like that" she said. I don't know when I lost track of what she was saying, listening to her reminded me of my aunt and uncle.

I must be 6 or 7 that I remember, my father's older cousin and his wife - my bade datta and bade mamma used to come for a few days and stay with us. And whenever they used to be around I used to be showered with tons and tons of pampering. It was not like they didn't had kids, my cousin was just 2 years younger to me but I got love in abundance from them. At times everyone in our family used to say they love me more than their own kids. :)

The moment we met I'll get chocolates and asked to set an itinerary of where all I wanted to go while they are here. Then there would be shopping, shopping for notebooks, clothes, shoes, socks, handkerchiefs, pencils and you name it and I had it. Lots of eating junk and ice cream, full day masti from here to there. Just them and times I used to feel embarrassed that how much they spoil me or maybe I am taking advantage of them and even when I wanted to eat ice-cream, would deny saying... Gala kharab hai !!!! And used to get caught often but they never scolded me or stopped doing any of these.

Now all grown up,  bade datta is still very fond of me and too generous to cook chicken for me whenever I visit him. He doesn't look or feel his age at all..a smart, young, dashing man at 72. He is epitome of staying fit and happy never take life too seriously.

My bade mamma was a lady ahead of time. She was tall, smart, boisterous, a rebel. A woman of her own might and who lived by her own rules, way ahead of her times. She loved life and loved to live high. But the boisterous lifestyle took a toll on her body and after struggling through daily dialysis for almost 3 years she let go of the life she loved to live.

They both made me feel like a Queen and remembering those days make me love them even more. When I think of people I admire I know there is a part of my bade datta that I see in those men. 
When I think of what I want to be I see a part of my bold bade mamma in me.
They say nothing lasts for ever but memories do....

Tuesday, 19 April 2016

PAPA #atozchallenge

Papa-daughter always share a special bond and so it is with me. But that doesn’t mean I don’t fight with him or argue on. We have our regular battles but never a war. We know we love each other and care even more.

As I sit besides the window clipping my nails I can clearly remember that day. I loved to play in sand and mud, it was most fun to immerse your hands in wet mud and make some figurines, and maybe I got the feel of grown-up as used to love the smell of dough and the way mom used to make rolls for chapattis. Besides what more fun for a 4 year old than to throw stuff.

I never knew that I got bacterial infection because of this in my hand and feet nails.As my parents tell me all my nails were bulging and blackened. My papa took me from doctor to doctor to cure me. Those way too sunny days Papa and I used to go on from one corner to another on his scooter. . I still remember myself banging my mouth or head on the scooter handle as I used to be sleepy.
           Every day it was the same story. Finally we found a doctor and he didn’t gave me anesthesia or notice, as if I could understand what they were talking, and in a flush swiped clean one of my nail with a blade. 


I wailed, yelled, cried, there is so much pain and I just couldn’t feel anything anymore....God why why???? I know my papa can never see me in pain that day he was sitting holding me silently trying to calm me down. That day my papa asked for water for me but we got none at the doctors. While getting downstairs papa asked for water from almost every window in the building but nobody gave him despite the wailing child. After a while I told him that I don’t need water, please don’t ask anyone now.

Those were the days when water was not sold and we couldn’t get any water pump either on way home. Today I have clean, white infection-free nails except for one nail with a scar. Papa I owe you not just for this but many many more such little and big things. I may never confess but I am blessed to have parents like you guys.

Monday, 18 April 2016

Only if it happened...... #atozchallenge

Ask. Believe. Receive.
And the universe will bestow everything upon you. Every time I read “THE SECRET” it inspires me and pushes me to put it into practice. I do practice it till date wishing so many things to happen, only if it was that easy......

I had even practiced it when I was totally broken, shaken, hopeless and I found a new hope in this book. I decided to put all my might and ask and believed that it will happen in 54 days and be jubilant to receive it. The countdown started in I kept slashing the days
And it was not happening.
Some days I did let it go and then was back with vigor. Kept up the counting

Such things not just make one realize but sets one on a dream.....If only it happened....then it would be like this....if only it happened ....then I would do this.

Saturday, 16 April 2016

Nailed #atozchallenge

I    = Ouch!!
He = What happened??
I    = Broke my nail while typing.
He = Again....but why you keep them so long that you cant function properly and keep breaking them          often.
I    = Because he was scared of them.
He = Your abusive ex-husband?

I    = Hmm.

Friday, 15 April 2016

Manma emotion jaage re.........#atozchallenge

As I juggled through my makeup box the radio played the latest SRK song......manma emotion jaage re...manma emotion jaage

It had a good re-mix beat to it, a good dance number indeed. But it didn’t make me dance but smile. These very lyrics reminded me of him and transported me two years back.

I got late at office and as I reached home and opened the main gate to enter the compound I saw a guy sitting in our veranda looking towards me. He was immaculately dressed, a clean stubble with short salt and pepper hair. The way he looked towards the door as if seeking something distant, a face effusing calm and control.

I rushed towards the garage to park my scooty and escape his stare. Thankfully I was wearing scarf and helmet or else my eyes and face would have revealed that I was instinctively drawn to him. It was the first time in my life that the surge of emotions was so high I was scared to enter my own house. There were numerous butterflies in my stomach dancing and singing, my heart racing, hands trembling and I was all giggly. I don’t know how to enter my own house now.

Somehow I paced myself to move inside and meet him, with some fake confidence I said Hello.... without removing my scarf or helmet.

Thursday, 14 April 2016

LOVE #atozchallenge

“It is not love, he doesn’t love you, you don’t love him” – She said as a matter of fact. “If he was in love with you he wouldn’t have spoken to you like that. Besides even you are not in love with him, it’s just attraction. How can you say you are in love with him?”

How can I say I am in love with him when I am boiling with rage from inside. He didn’t even listened to me and just snapped at me. It was just the two of us and I didn’t even interrupted him I was just being myself when I reacted, overhearing him on phone, that I didn’t do anything and he so rudely shut me up. With all these thoughts running on my mind, I peep into his cabin to see what he is doing. And the sight of him meticulously cleaning his touch-screen mobile with a hanky just made me weak in my knees......I CAN say I am in Love with him <3

Wednesday, 13 April 2016

The very first KISS #atozchallenge

Today I got late for my evening walk with all the household chores when you have guest over. But at 67 I can’t skip it or my knees will start complaining.

So though it was dark outside I went to the park. I hadn’t crossed half a kilometre and decided to cut it off and take a seat. Not because I was tired but I saw too many couples today coo-chi-cooing around. Come to think of it maybe a few here must be having their first kiss and they reminded me of mine <3 <3

When I was doing my graduation, there was this friend of mine. We used to always flock together be it studies or need to go somewhere. One day we went gift-shopping for a friend’s birthday. As in those days of the newly opened gift galleries which had rows of stacked shelves with gift items but usually vacant, we went to one such shops. And between those rows he kissed me. The world stilled for me, as if I was transported to somewhere else.  It is so rightly said - no one forgets their FIRST KISS :*

Tuesday, 12 April 2016

The Jump of Joy #atozchallenge

                                                      Your heart flutters and jitters
                                  As the phone vibrates alerting an incoming message
                                              You start jumping and jumping with joy

                                               As you see the sender of the message J

Monday, 11 April 2016

Idiot Box #atozchallenge

My little niece was all excited to call the television set as “the idiot box”, new word she learned in school today. But her constant chatter reminded me of my idiot box.

When I was in school, I had a classmate –PALAK. We were classmates and almost the same height so always used to sit together but never the best of the friends. I don’t exactly remember whether I was a mean kid or all were mean but she was most definitely not.

I am talking about kids under the age of 10, when you start maintaining your clan and hang out with them only. Then there are fights and you fall out and then get back together. Whenever I had fallout with my besties and I used to wander alone in lunchtime, from nowhere Palak would appear. She used to call me and make me sit with her group and have lunch. I never felt like an outsider with her or her group. There were never any questions just the normal chatter.

Every time I used to make up with my friends I used to leave Palak even without telling her. And again a repeat telecast yet she would welcome me with smiling with her group. I never felt like an outsider with her. She was a complete idiot box she didn’t know the bitter words/character of the world – mean, selfish et al.

Those friends I used to hang out with at that time were not my real friends and hence we are not friends anymore. But maybe I never had anybody as a REAL friend as PALAK till date whose love for me was like sun full of warmth and shining all the time.

Today, even in this digital world, Palak and I don’t even know about each other’s whereabouts. I don’t blame her for forgetting me but I am late enough to realise her importance. I have never met anyone like her. But remembering her just made me realise that I have turned so bitter in this world that even I forgot that idiot-boxes are so important to keep everything intact and save from falling apart.

Saturday, 9 April 2016

Humility #atozchallenge

It was just the second day of my job when Gaurav – my supervisor and one of the Director at the company, introduced me to Vikas. Gaurav asked me to attend one of the lectures that Vikas was going to deliver. I was more than happy.
                On our way to the lecture hall, I been the talkative heart had a normal chit-chat with him. Since I was new I asked Vikas about the organization. Vikas elaborated on, telling me somewhat the history of the company, it’s mergers and how it landed where it is. Simple yet smartly dressed he seemed pretty articulate and sorted in his thinking.
I asked about the core people – the owners and Vikas said “ yes, ok. “ Aha! A man of few words.

The hall was fully packed, it must be some 300 or so number, that’s huge! Vikas delivered an awe-inspiring and captivating lecture. A man of few words but worthy words and what aura!

While we were returning I was speechless to appreciate him and could just utter – “You were very good in there” He just smiled and bowed his head down. It was only after over a week that I came to know that Vikas is the company CEO.

Friday, 8 April 2016

Grace #atozchallenge

College life has always been identity making or identity crises days. How one deals with it is a revolution in itself.

Few years back I went for a movie with friends and it was a houseful show. While we were waiting outside there was a bunch of young girls all giggly and silly...they must be 18 or 19 too excited for the movie.

I could see there was this other gang of boys but there was no fanfare among boys or girls on seeing the other group. They didn’t want to impress anyone, actually they were from the same college or maybe class. The body language was not of teens going mushy but the gossiping-types.

All the hell broke loose when suddenly one could hear abusive sloganeering

Those boys were yelling on top of their lungs. My Gosh! Sara was one of the girls from that group, I could see all girls sympathizing with her.

People don’t realise what they are doing and how mean their behaviour gets and can sabotage someone. But this coy looking girl was different.

She went up to them amidst everyone’s glare and very gracefully asked them to stop the ruckus.
She said “Even you are here for a movie and so are we, nobody needs to create a scene. If you guys want we can leave but stop belittling yourself.”
The boys shut up and both the groups went on to watch the movie. I don’t know whether Sara enjoyed the movie or not but she never let the grace leave her face. If she wanted she could have cried, or abused back with her friends but she did nothing so just went on with maybe even more grace than before.

Thursday, 7 April 2016

The Fantastic Female #atozchallenge

I met her for the first time on her sister’s b’day and SIYA was someone whom you’ll like instantly.
She was young, beautiful, and full of life with an unabashed awesome sense of humour. She was the perfect, cool, hep to be for me. She was older than us and so was always on toes to take care of us, help us, even went back home to get the camera after reaching the venue.

I was enthralled by her adventurous stories of going to Goa with friends without informing parents, being stranded on Venice streets late at night with no commute available, living alone since years and enjoying it to the core.

It was months later that I came to know that she was going through divorce. She was married young and just for her parents sake continued living with an abusive husband. Finally, one day, when she was brutally beaten and abandoned in a corner of the house, she was rescued by one of her relatives. A well-educated girl went through all sorts of bad thing which she never imagined would ever exist in this world. Someone who used to be the daddy’s princess endured everything for daddy’s happiness without letting them onto anything just in the belief that things will change one day.

AND thankfully it did.

She had to go through rehabilitation to get back to normal life but today when I see her happily married and with kids staying on good and living life to the fullest. I admire her even more The fantastic Female.

Wednesday, 6 April 2016

Eyebrows speak louder than words #atozchallenge

That time of the year when a new financial year begins and our company starts it with departmental dinners, applauding the work we did.

For me the dinners are even more special because these are the only dinners that I get to have with my crush.....sitting on the same table even if it is with 20 others around J These dinners have always been special for me and last was MAGIC!!

Last year, by the time me and a bunch reached the venue, he was already there. We all chatted on, some friendly banter and so on. All were talking among themselves and I was trying to call a few others who hadn’t reached yet.

I was too busy in my own to notice someone taking the seat right opposite to me. As I raised my eyes from my phone I was swept off my feet...It was HIM <3

The moment I saw him so close to me, my heart started beating so fast and though I said nothing this sudden happenings actually crept awe in my eyes and I was still for a few seconds. And he, he said nothing either, the usual smile and a raised eyebrow...He knew what he did to me.

P.S. Yes he slightly looks like this  ;)